tis the life

This is the life of a random girl in a random place. At what point does life turn from random to significant? Do people ever really notice what's around them?

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The complexities of social behaviour

A question for y'all. When there's something you want to do/go to/see, and you happen to invite a member of the opposite sex, at what point is it considered a date? Can't we all just be friends? Does there have to be a certain amount of sexual tension first? Why is it conceived to be different things to different people? Do motives matter? Is going somewhere with someone, with the intent to get to know them better, considered a date by default? Does every situation have to undergo a decision to this affect before people can relax?

posted by meesh @ 1:54 p.m.  

5 Comments:

  • At December 3, 2005 at 11:00:00 p.m. PST, Blogger Elizabeth said…

    I have also asked this question, owing to a certain "skating event" that I thought was just 2 friends, and the other party thought otherwise.... If you discover the answer, be certain to let me know!

     

  • At December 3, 2005 at 11:11:00 p.m. PST, Blogger Christopher Robin said…

    That is a tough one. I would almost say that a date is better defined by the reactions of the two parties. If there are the subtle signs/signals of sexual attraction, then it may in fact be a date. However, if they are only being sent one way, it's probably a bad date at that point.

    Beyond that I don't know of an social conventions that really define a date from two single people hanging out. This certainly isn't a black and white topic, but a very interesting one as a result.

     

  • At December 4, 2005 at 7:23:00 p.m. PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Michelle have you learned nothing? Any guy you ask to do anything is going to think it's a date. I think you would have to start by saying that you want to go out as friends. Unfortunately when it comes to relationships between the sexes things are generally not straightforward.

     

  • At December 6, 2005 at 2:04:00 p.m. PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This reminds me of "When Harry Met Sally", when Harry is explaining about why males and females can't be friends. Lets see if I can find the quote...

    Harry) No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

    Sally) So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

    Harry) No, you pretty much want to nail them too.

    Anyway, there tends to be a certain amount of social tension unless one person makes it clear it is not a date. But, then you run the risk of offending the friend. Its definitely not an easy situation to address.

     

  • At December 6, 2005 at 6:53:00 p.m. PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Erm... at what point is it a date?
    1) If you're making out... getting freaky... it's most likely a date. If you're even groping just a little... DATE. Apart from that hard to say =)

    Can't we all just be friends?
    2) No... cuz then the species as a whole would not survive... Unless it's like FTF...

    Does there have to be a certain amount of sexual tension first?
    3) Sexual tension does help to make it a date... especially if it's mutual... but really what is a date? I think it has everything to do with romantic interest... though in that sense one side will consider something a date while another might not based on differing view points and interest/disinterest.

    Why is it conceived to be different things to different people?
    4) Why do some people like black licorice? What's trash is treasure depending on the viewpoint, and us humans are unique that way...

    Do motives matter?
    5) If motives are part of perception... perhaps... If you know the other persons motives and you don't do anything to dissuade them... then it could be a date...

    blah blah (sorry too long a question) considered a date by default?
    6) of the opposite sex... "getting to know them better"? Yes =) (Unless you're both otherwise already taken... even then it might be misunderstood)

    Does every situation have to undergo a decision to this affect before people can relax?
    7) not sure... depends on the person? Though I must admit, non-date situations are probably more relaxing to start with because you're not out to impress... but dates ARE fun... and the thrill of the chase is one of the best parts ;) (Though I'm not sure how relaxing it is...)

    Can you tell I'm bored at work? Damn overtime!

     

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